We've been mulling things over here at the brewery, thinking of ways we can sort the wheat from the chaff: the Hawkstone drinkers from the non-Hawkstone drinkers. And we think we've got the perfect thing.
Say hello to the crown of glory and the cone of shame! Download and print off your own crown if you're a gloriously sophisticated Hawkstone drinker – then wear it proudly over your bottle of Hawkstone while you drink in your local pub or at home. That way, people will know you support brilliant beer made by British farmers, using British ingredients and British recipes. It's a symbol of your impeccable taste and patriotism.
And then there's the cone of shame. If you spot someone drinking some other non-Hawkstone beer or cider, put the cone of shame over their bottle (once you've finished booing them). Tell them they should support our delicious beer because it's made with homegrown ingredients farmed by British farmers – none of that rubbish concentrate from abroad. Tell them to go straight to the bar for a pint of Hawkstone. They'll thank you for it in the end.